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|Saturday, February 18th, 2006|
What have I done for ME lately?
Well, i haven't exercised much since my illness, other than stepping on the elliptical a couple of times. i've been letting the excuses pile up. i feel awful for it, but i was doing it. i decided that i don't want to let the weight loss of my illness go to waste.
i'm pagan. My group did a ritual last night, and one of the things we did was bless all the seeds that we'll be planting in the spring. Some of them will be started indoors as little as two weeks from now. i asked my group to sacrifice something important to them, but which was ultimately not good, as a way of "giving energy" to the seeds. i chose to give up all my excuses for not exercising. For one month, i am religiously and spiritually bound to not have any excuses. So i got on the elliptical today. It was only 15 minutes, but it wasn't excuses.
i also did something else. Having watched the Dannon yoghurt commercial with the "itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka-dot bikini" about 80 times a day, i decided to pull out something that i really want to wear. i am officiating at one of my group members' wedding in June. Two years ago, sis bought me a dress, a Rennaisance gown in deep blue, and it was tight when i got it, and instead of losing weight, i gained. i know i need to get below 180 to wear it. i'm 195 now. i have basically three months to lose it. With 8 lbs a month as a respectable and yet healthy weight loss, i would be down to about 175 lbs. i could fit, at 175. So ... i hung the dress up on my closet door, on the outside. i'll have to look at it every day, several times a day. There's my short term goal for the next little while.
That's what i've done for me... Current Mood: determined
|Tuesday, February 14th, 2006|
What have I done for me, lately?
I need to write this somewhere designed to give positive feedback. I have not been doing much in the way of exercise, because of being so sick. I did over an hour of snow shovelling after the big storm, but that's the most I've managed to get done. My mother has been sending hate mail my way again, though, and I think I have expended enough calories in sobbing inconsollably for hours, that it counts for something.
I am exhausted, emotionally. I am tired, physically. I feel run down. Even the thought of getting up to do something makes me hurt right now. Amo is taking me and sis out to dinner tonight, for Valentine's Day. It's the first time in four years he's actually remembered the day, and I think it's partially because I've been so upset that he's trying to do something positive. I feel bad about that, but oh well. I hope that I can enjoy dinner. I'm not even going to attempt to eat on my diet. I don't care enough.
Oh, and I've maintained my flu weightloss, largely. I weighed in at 195 this morning. Current Mood: depressed
|Thursday, February 9th, 2006|
Jillian the Bully on relationships
Hi... i've stopped running to the bathroom so often. i *think* i now have time to update this. Jillian's next section is on "troubleshooting your current relationships." Basically she wants you to look at whether people are hindering or helping you, how your relationships affect your life, etc.
First she says to make a list in your journal of the names of all the influential people in your life. Could be family, friends, LJ buddies who make you think, significant other(s), whatever. Then ask yourself the following questions about each person.
1. Does this person push food on you?
The solution for someone who does push food, is to try and find out *why*, and if they're even aware of it. She suggests that if it's just a friend or loved one who NEEDS to cook for you, give them some complicated but yummy diet recipes that you don't bother making yourself, but that you'd be surprised and pleased to have them cook for you. This lets them play creatively, but stay within the realms of what you can eat. If it just happens to be someone who is sabotaging your health and won't stop, you may have to either walk away, or "wall up" that person so that they can't affect you. My understanding is, sometimes you just have to say to yourself, "You know, Auntie won't do the diet thing for me. She means well but doesn't think and really doesn't care in the long run. I need to be aware and wary around her when it comes to food. I need to find ways to socialize with this person that don't include food." You might do things that don't include eating, or make a habit of eating a huge (good) meal right before going over, so you can honestly say, "Oh, thank you SO much, it looks great, but i'm stuffed!"
2. Is this person afraid that if you change you will outgrow or leave him?
She talks a lot about how some people have significant others who are threatened by the idea of having their partner suddenly turn from a couch potato to a stud(ette). Because of their own self esteem, they figure that they got you because you were fat or overweight, and you took them because you didn't have a lot of choices, and therefore if you STOP being fat, you'll find someone worthwhile. Most SO's that are like this, really just "don't get" that you love them. It takes a lot of time and help (and sometimes professional help) for them AND you, to work past it. Jillian wants us to confront (gently) the people who do this to us. Point out their destructive behaviors, and explain that you love them, you're not going anywhere, but that X is harmful to my diet, and therefore harmful to me. If you try everything and still fail to get them to stop their harmful-to-you ways, you may need to reconsider the relationship, because maybe this person isn't thinking about your needs and what's best for you. Bottom line, you're responsible for you.
3. Is this person openly jealous when good things happen to you?
Jillian tells a story of a friend who, ever time she lost weight, would go out and buy her a bunch of her favorite junk food "as a treat" to kind of ruin her diet. She asks us to really assess whether people who are doing this are really worth it. She admits (thank you Jillian!) that sometimes, the answer is yes, it's worth it. If you decide to continue a relationship wherein you are actively being sabotaged, you need to continueally point out the damage to the person, gently whenever possible. It becomes hard for them to act like such an ass if you're continuing to be good, not attacking them, and pointing out what an ass they're being. She reminds us that we are ultimately in control of our own lives and health and we need to keep that foremost in our minds.
She talks a lot about letting people know that you're on a weight-loss plan, and giving them positive ways to help you out, if they care to. Explain your goals, and why you're doing this. Ask for help, ask for them to join you if they're willing, and to at least give verbal encouragement if not. Let them know what you can't eat, so that they don't inadvertently put something down in front of you that you can't have. Also, let people know what kind of *emotional* support you need, to continue your weight loss. Don't just say, "I need your support," because it doesn't MEAN anything. She wants us to actually tell people, "It would be nice if you asked how my morning run was when you call me, because it reminds me that i should have been running," or, "I need to feel like I'm still a part of the group. Can we all meet at this restaurant that serves food that I can eat, and have our meeting there?"
Then she points out the three "key relationships" you need to make or deepen, to help you change your life.
1. A partner in crime. Basically, someone to walk with you, diet with you, meet you at the pool for a swim each morning, whatever. Someone you can depend on to encourage you to do what is right each and every day. This one is SO hard for me... Amo doesn't really have time to do daily exercise (and he's usually watching a baby while i exercise, so i *can* exercise), and sis is so tired when she gets home from work. Farnham is not into doing the gym thing with me and i can't afford to go out to his gym all the time anyhow. i wish i had someone close enough by that would exercise with me every day.
2. A role mode. You need to have someone to look up to, who you can trust to educate you about health and fitness, give you advice, etc. For me, my role models are two: Suzy, from the second season of the Biggest Loser (she's my height, and a little over my weight when she started), and Jillian (author of the book and one of the trainers, who also used to be large, and is about my height). i can't ask them direct questions, but i can read what they have to say, and if desperate, i can shoot them a question via the message boards.
3. A fan. This is someone who just wants to see you happy and successful, who cheers you on no matter what. Might be a kid, a parent, a best friend, doesn't matter. This would be Amo and Farnham.
These three people give you support and let you know you're not doing it alone, which is hugely important. It "maximizes your success" as Jillian says. Current Mood: sick
|Sunday, February 5th, 2006|
How does that commercial go?
Cleaning materials for the bathroom - $20.00
Extra toilet paper and paper cups - $17.00
Antibiotics - $75.00
Losing 5 pounds overnight - Priceless!
My "do something" for yesterday was "run to the bathroom." There wasn't anything much else going on. i believe i broke down into hysteria at one point, and Master put me to bed quite early. i slept restlessly. i spent today trying to stomach dry toast and chicken broth. i eventually managed to get down two soft boiled eggs, although i'm still feeling a bit sick.
i did manage to play with babies for about ten minutes here, and five minutes there. That's about all the exercise i could manage. i really did lose five pounds overnight, though. i do NOT suggest you try it, though. This crud is horrible. Current Mood: cold
|Wednesday, February 1st, 2006|
So next in Jillian's lovely book is the process of identifying emotional triggers that cause us to eat. Every single time we go to eat, she wants us to ask the following questions (and write it down in your journal whenever possible):
1. Are you hungry? Examine yourself carefully. Is your stomach growling? Has it been more than three or four hours since you last ate? Are you tired or sluggish?
2. Are you depressed or anxious?
3. Can you find a way to deal with any emotions you m ay have uncovered in an appropriate way, rather than suppressing those emotions? If not, go on to #4.
4. How can you turn this problem into an opportunity?
Basically, Jillian says sometimes life just sucks (her quote heh). Our job, at the end of the day, is to learn how to deal with it with our heads up and our mouths out of the feed trough. We need to find positive, life-affirming ways to reward ourselves for dealing with tough stuff. She suggests bubble baths, manicures and pedicures, going for a walk with a friend... basically finding non-food ways to deal with feelings of discomfort.
The next section is "troubleshooting your relationships" but i don't have time to write about it today.
i highly suggest twins as a dieting aide to anyone who's interested. It's taken me four hours to write this post, and i've managed to get only a tiny bit of lunch into me betweentimes. *sigh*
i'm also pms'ing and i'm not doing any exercises today. Beyond anything else, i simply haven't had time. And for anyone about to tell me all i had to do was "make time", you can come sit the twins yourself.
Sorry for grumping. i guess i needed to let off some steam today. Current Mood: crazy
|Tuesday, January 31st, 2006|
Ok, so I finally got up off my lazy butt and did *something*
Granted it was due to the fact that I was bored and lonely, but hey, I did it.
We bought a book on Stretching for Flexbility and Toning the other day, and its a really nice resource.
I went through and did the Beginners Core Workout. Or rather, I went through the exercises. They were easy to follow and had great tips and hints for how to do things in the best way. I was able to do all the exercises well, without too much trouble, and I liked that they gave breathing instructions for each to the point where it got to be a pattern. That felt good. I am not overly aching or tired or anything, but I think I might feel it later. My back ached some when I began, and doesn't really seem to be much worse now that I've stopped (its an almost constant pain... I'm working on fixing that).
I am pleased to have gone through it, and hope that tomorrow I can do it a with more fluidity to the exercises and a little more focus. I think if I can manage to do it again I'll check another beginner section and see if I can get through that too. (they have beginner and advanced sections for each part of the body).
I also have decided that I want a swiss exercise ball now. I posted this article
in my LJ the other day which is what inspired me. To be able to sit at my computer and work on fitness without thinking about it, plus balance and burn energy would be great. Plus the fact that it would help correct my posture is a good thing. So that is now on the shopping list :) Funny, but useful! Current Mood: melancholy
|Monday, January 30th, 2006|
Learning about myself.
i just got Jillian Michaels' book, Winning by Losing
. She's the female trainer on the Biggest Loser show (which, i shamefully admit, is the one "reality" vice i sink to watching). She's a bitch. :) Just what i need, a bully! Hehehe... Her book outlines a number of things, and i thought i'd share my results.
First, she wants us to identify our body shape, so we can know what we can and can't expect from it. There is no doubt in my mind, that of the three types (apple, pear, and proportionate), i am definitely an apple. She says, "The apple tends to store fat in her upper body, so if a person is carrying extra weight, it is usually around the belly." Well... yeah, okay, that is me.
Next she wants us to measure things. Oh dear gawd. Do i *have* to post these? Well... yes. Because if i do, then i have impetus to get better, and i have people who will spend time telling me i'm doing great when i improve.
1. Waist measurement *right* at belly button line: 47.5"
2. Stand with feet hi-width apart and measure hips at widest point: 52"
3. Divide waist measurement by hip measurement to get hip-to-waist ratio: 0.91
She points out that ideal hip ratios for wmen are 0.80 and for men it's 0.95. As embarassing as it is, i am going to make the observation here that the widest point of my hips is only about an inch below my belly button.
My current weight is 197lbs. According to Jillian (and a zillion other sources), my ideal weight should be between 125lbs and 135lbs. This means i have 62 lbs to lose. Now i'm supposed to "get it in writing," to help me stay focused (and presumably, honest). She has a little chart which i won't try to replicate in LJ, but which i'll just write out. The rewards part is what you give yourself if you reach your goals.
Long term (ultimate) goals:
* i want to lose 50 lbs.
* i want to be able to ride my bike to my friend's house.
* i want to be able to not ache every day (most of my aches are from not exercising enough).
* i want to fit into anything that is less than a size 16.
Long term (ultimate) rewards:
* i will buy a bikini and wear it in public!
* i will drop below 190 lbs this month.
* i will limit my snacking to things that are mostly healthy, and be conscious of carbs and calories.
* i will do 20 minutes on the elliptical the way Jillian wants it done (circuit).
* i will buy myself the Biggest Loser video.
* i will buy myself a new swiss ball of the right size.
* i will get on the elliptical for at least 15 minutes at least six times this week.
* i will not eat any "fast food" this week.
* i will write down all my food in www.fitday.com.
* i will make Jillian's yummy cream cheese rolls for dessert twice this week!
* i will play EverQuest this week.
* i will make sure i get on the elliptical, even if it means doing so after i've showered.
* i will make healthy snacks up ahead of time, when i am not hungry, so that they are ready for me if i feel snacky.
* i will drink at least 8 glasses of water today.
* i will relax and watch my show tonight.
* i will take time to read Harry Potter and Jillian.
There. Tomorrow or the next day, i'll try and do the next section. i'm posting these on my personal LJ but i wanted to post the info here, in case anyone else wanted to "work along with me." :) Current Mood: accomplished
|Wednesday, January 25th, 2006|
Still doing something -- perhaps not enough, but something
I had a great walk yesterday at lunch. D.C. is a good walking city; five minutes from my office, I'm walking past the White House and through Lafayette Park. I felt it later in my feet and ankles because I don't have orthotics yet (expensive and not covered by my insurance), but my feet seem no worse for wear today, so I hope I can maintain a 20-minute daily walk.
Having said that, I'm not going to manage it today and will need to get on the NordicTrack this evening. Today it's extremely windy out (up to 38 mph gusts and cold), and I don't have adequate clothing for those conditions, nor did I bring walking shoes today. Guess I'm going to have to plan better, get laundry done so I have clean slacks available, and come up with a layering strategy. I don't have real winter clothes to speak of, so this is a little tricky.
I did sleep better last night, getting up only once during the night, and wonder whether the walking had anything to do with that. One problem is that I'm exhausted by the time I get home, at 7:30 or 8 p.m. I'm too tired generally to do anything with friends on weekday evenings, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is exercise. I also need to finish eating for the evening by 8 p.m., so this is a conflict in my schedule.
Morning exercise would be ideal, but doing that will require a major habit change: Getting up early enough and/or exercising first thing instead of going down to the kitchen to make coffee and eat breakfast (during which time I usually read the paper, which I spend way too much time doing). When I check e-mail and LJ in the morning, I also tend to stay online too long to get much else done. It eats up time that I should be spending exercising.
|Sunday, January 22nd, 2006|
I actually walked for almost 20 minutes today (still need to work out a round-trip course that will give me the full 20 minutes and then to add 5-minute increments eventually). I did this because I have decided to follow the plan in this book
. I heard the author on television recently, and I was impressed by his grasp of the whole complex of symptoms that women often have due to the impact and interaction of stress, neurotransmitters (primarily serotonin), and hormones.
I really want to at least start
to feel better in three weeks, and this is the basic plan detailed in the book:
- Stress: Start a stress journal.
- Serotonin: Walk (briskly) in sunlight
- Hormones: Start the recommended eating plan
- Stress: Work out stress (start practicing a stress-reduction technique every day, e.g., yoga or meditation) to use the body to calm down the mind and begin using strategies to overcome worry.
- Serotonin: Add B vitamins and fish oil
- Hormones: Starte chasteberry or black cohosh; St. John's wort and 5HTP if needed.
- Stress: Use anger-management techniques and cultivate a positive attitude
- Serotonin: Learn carbohydrate timing
- Hormones: Consider progesterone cream, in the dosage recommended.
It seems like a nice, doable, phased approach that doesn't cost megabucks. I don't think it can hurt to try it for three weeks and then track whether I feel better.
I was able to get the book plus this one
with a gift certificate my sister gave me for Christmas. I think both will be really helpful for me -- but only if I do the work!
|Thursday, January 12th, 2006|
Well, yesterday i did another 17 minutes on the elliptical (thank you, Jivebunny!) at level 2 and 3. then i did another 30 minutes of resistance / weight training on the swiss ball. Then today, i did 25 minutes on lvl 2 on the elliptical (i'm VERY sore today) and 10 minutes of resistance training on the ball. Tomorrow i'll do elliptical and some light weights for upper body, and some crunches, but it'll be a light day because we have a guest coming over, then i'm going out for the night.
i feel good, even though everything aches right now. My arms and thighs and calves are screaming at me. But at least it's honest pain and not just the "ow" from sitting on the couch too long.
Currently, my aim is to do at least 30 minutes of exercise each day, with at LEAST 15 minutes on the elliptical (if i only have 15 minutes to give, i will put it to level four, which is the best i can do right now, but if i can do longer, i can lower the level). i'll have one day off a week from resistance/weight training, but will do cardio 7 days a week, for at least 15 minutes. After all, as Flylady says, you can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes.
i weighed in at 199 lbs today. i hate the way i look. i feel chunky. i hate the Christmas photos, because i have a double chin. i hate having my photo taken while holding the new twins (sis's, not mine), because i look so awful (to me). i want a better body. i will have a better body. Wish me luck... Current Mood: sore
|Tuesday, January 10th, 2006|
i did something!
About six months ago, we moved from our old shoebox to a new, 6 bedroom home. Wow, awesome! Only i was so sore from moving boxes for hours each day, and packing and cleaning and all the other associated moving stuff, that i stopped exercising. i just couldn't face lifting weights for half an hour, after four hours of lifting boxes at much higher weights. It didn't seem right.
It took us three months to move in. During that three months, i was doing a lot of heavy lifting. At the end of it, i had managed to dislocate my right shoulder, and was in so much pain that lifting my arm, never mind weights, was too much to bear. Various things happened, and that got fixed, but i never went back to the exercising.
i had been holding my weight at about 175... i am now up to 199. i'm mad at myself. i'm mad at Amo for not pushing me, even though that's terribly unreasonable of me. i'm mad at sis, who refused to eat during her pregnancy unless someone else ate with her, and for whom i ate many "bad" things, and certainly more than i should have.
i finally went out and bought one of those $7 swiss ball exercise books. i know i am not ready for full weight lifting at this point. i'm hurting too much, and my ability to do anything at all has gone WAY down. The swiss ball is what my chiropractor had me using for various exercises, for my back and shoulder, so we had it handy.
Two days ago, i brought the ball up from the basment (it was down there over Christmas, as Amo's parents were over and we were trying to look clean and tidy), as well as the handles for our freeweights (they weigh 2.5 lbs each, and i figured that was enough to start with). i also brought up two strap on ankle weights.
Yesterday, i stared at them with horror, and never did anything. Since the twins got their shots and screamed incessantly for several hours, i feel not one whit of guilt over not exercising. i was hefting babies all that time. That's exercise enough. Today, though, i had no such excuse. i had Amo put on Footloose
on his stereo, and i got on the elliptical, and i rode it HARD for 17 minutes (the first three songs, the last of which is Holding out for a Hero
, which is long, fast, and great for cardio... and painful) on level 4 most of the way. i was drenched, gasping, but still singing at the end of it. i took a breather to down some water and stretch out a bit, and then i did 20+ minutes on the swiss ball, with light weights. i did shoulder presses and back exercises, and work on my legs and calves. i did a few crunches and a few push ups. i sweated like a pig. i was tired, breathing hard, and satisfied at the end of it.
Yay me. Seriously.
Now i'm sore. But tomorrow, i hope to get up and do it all over again (though perhaps i'll get Amo to play another album). i am going to work at this. i do not want to be fat anymore. i don't want to look the way i do. i've been watching my guilty pleasure, The Biggest Loser
, and i'm seeing them melt down. It isn't easy and it isn't overnight, but it's REAL. If they can do it, at 300+ pounds, i can do it. i CAN do it. And i am doing it.
Wish me luck... Current Mood: accomplished
|Thursday, January 5th, 2006|
I couldn't stand the sight of all that sunshine through the glass, so I went out and got some on me. I discovered a picnic bench not too far from my office - I might regret the walking, but fresh air and sunlight are good things. I really need to get to the point where I won't regret a 400-yard walk, which means getting back on my health plan NOW. A small setback from surgery is expected, but I need to make sure I keep it small rather than letting it discourage me.
Wow, that took a lot out of me. I need a nap.
cross-posted to nosebeepbear
|Sunday, October 30th, 2005|
I came home from working a 11 hour day today, the whole day lights saving thing, they really needed us there to work that extra hour, and I love filling the call of duty so I did.
I was tried when I got home but I also knew that I wouldn't in any way be able to wake up in time to go to the gym before it closed this afternoon at 4. I just don't wake up that early *laugh*
So I treked my happy butt the 1/2 mile to the gym, in the cold weather (which I really really so so much hate)
I started off with 10 minutes on the eliptical machine. Then I did 15 reps on 15 different machines.. with weight resistance between 10 and 45 lbs. then took a short walk around the gym... stretched a bit and did the machines again, all for another 15 reps. Once I was done working out that way I did a little more stretching then did the stationary bike for 7 minutes, which happened to be a mile.
Went and got my coat and walked the 1/2 mile uphill.
Got home and stretched everything really well. Now.. time for bed! Current Mood: chipper
Alright... I thought it was about time to start posting on this list again.
i've been doing a lot of things and haven't see any posts in here.. Where is everyone??
This weekend was very fruitful for me. I went and joined the gym last friday and have been a little work out feind since then. I am loving it. I feel so much better.
I went to the gym on friday and did my first work out, I did a 30 minute bike ride that took me a total of 11 miles. It really rocked. Then I walked a 1/2 a mile. I was so stoked. I have to admit that it was amazing to be able to handle that.
Then today I woke up and Cleaned the living room, under the couch and the chair, behind the bookshelve. Under the bed I have in the living room. Then I vacuumed and tidied up the dining room and kitchen. After that I did a load of dishes and took my happy butt down to the gym!
I did a 1.5 mile walk, a 7 mile bike ride, 15 reps on each of the weight machines, and a mile on an eliptical trainer.
Came back home took a nap so that I could go to work tonight and then did another load of dishes. its been a busy but good day for me!
|Tuesday, October 4th, 2005|
Sooo just popping in cuz I see that no one has done a post since the last one that I did.
I wanted to share that I've started my work outs again. I am doing 5 minutes on the stairs, twice a day. And doing a 30 minute walk at lunch.
I am pretty proud of myself if I do say so. Which I do.
What is everyone else doing... where are the other people on this list?
|Saturday, September 24th, 2005|
Soooo I am back again.
I got very sick about a month ago and ended up needing to have my gall bladder removed. I am back and feeling much better. As of today I've had a very nice 45 minute romp with the Sweetheart that got my heart rate up *wicked grin*
On top of that I spent the first 10 minutes of my 20 minute break walking quickly. I want to make sure I get myself back in the habit. I was going to take the stairs but it seems that my badge isn't working in the office anymore due to some changes that went on while I was away.
I just thought that I'd let everyone know that I am still ok.
|Thursday, September 15th, 2005|
I've remembered to do my stretches every day this week. Go me! At the moment my goal is to do my tiny amount of bicycling twice a week, the seated upper body workout twice a week, and leg lifts twice a week. I'm hoping that by doing different things and not doing too much of anything, I can avoid hurting myself again.